What are the disadvantages of Farting in Public?
78How Offensive is Public Farting?
This hardly seems to be a question - what are the disadvantages of farting in public. It's also a quandry...people do fart, both publically and privately, so it's pretty certain that some of them will sneak out in the company of other humans.
The first disdvantage to this is that you can never be certain what kind of fart is sneaking past your underwear. If it's silent but deadly you can quickly move through the crowd hoping it doesn't follow you - but it always does, and unless you are light on your feet, folks will figure out who the offender is. Naturally you can go on the offensive and wrinkle up your nose and start glancing around while fanning the air.
Then there are the popcorn farts. Pup-pup-pup-pup they go while you are walking. These audibles sound like muffled machine gun fire and you might as well have a police helicopter shine a spot light down on you. You're IT and there's no way to deny it. Stop walking right away and give it the old bottom clench. This will allow the immediate crowd to move on and those coming toward you have no idea, unless you start walking again, that is.
Probably the biggest offender to one and all is the schwooch fart. It's the one you think is just gas and turns out it's a lot more than that. This is a kid fave. They pop their farts with no abandon but they also brownie up their panties daily. When it happens to an adult it's just horrifying! There you are in a literal mess and you hope to God it isn't leaking through. There's no disguising this one at all. People prone to this need to wear pads because it will cut the public displays down quite a bit.
Truthfully, public farting goes on all the time and most of them are just puffers - little airy things that don't amount to much and certainly don't call attention. The things is, if no one knows, then no one cares. The other end of the spectrum is the squeeker - these are the high-pitched drawn out bleats in the key of C. Oh good Lord! They usually stink the place up. These are usually favored by teen aged boys for their obvious stink and disgust factor. Nothing much redeeming about that kind of behavior because it's deliberate.
The most prized, or disgusting depending upon point of view, are the Frat House Farts. Generally fueled by a diet of junk food, pork and beans and way too much beer, these are the farts that make people jump because they have been known to hit 10 decibles. Because they are usually performed in the company of like minded farters at co-ed parties, the general public is not as familiar with the amazing breadth of this type of fart repertoir.
In the end, farting in public, though awkward and usually socially unacceptable, will happen often. If you are easily embarrassed, duck into an alley and releave your body of pent up gas. If not, follow the axiom that farts held in could implode and then you'd have another huge problem on your hands, walls and surrounding people.
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Ah yes....very insightful. I just assumed that when my teenage son grew up, he would abandon his love for disgisting fart competitions. Alas, he and his friends have only matured in their antics. At least it is no longer accetable to ignite the farts.....they now see this as childish. Right...and walking infront of your grown sister and stopping only long enough to let one blow in her face is not childish???? Geeeez....he's only "sharing"!
this stuff is hilarious. good hub
I'm glad I'm not the only who thinks about these things. My friends have a history of seeing how many people they can clear off a dance floor, or how many people will leave the movies, or if people will put that fruit back at the grocery store once they get a whiff.
Just say the word "fart" and most people get the giggles. It's just so gross and disgusting but somehow compellingly hilarious.
How funny!!! LOL I would say the disadvantage is taking up somebody's air quality hehehehe!!!
Coast Runner, I wonder what ads the amazon and ebay will have for this hub.
Truck Stop Humor - oh how low one can go!!! Hey, it was a legitimate question and so.... I may have found my own digusting niche.
Im in Hong Kong and lets just say that all types are excepted here, and I even found some new styles(like the let it rip, and rip, and rip, even after everyone gives you the look). No one says anything after they do it, almost as if they are proud that they let it out. My rule of thumb, expecially while traveling on the subways is try try try to go to the next cabin, because if you have a while before your next stop, your in trouble.
Thanks Coast Runner for answering my Request..
i farted a couple of whole miniature Pumpkins out once in the elevator and i looked around and told everyone OMG what did that old lady do!? the one standing next to me...
this prompted me to ask this topic...
I'd say creating a diversion or casting blame is the only way to handle it. Either that or buy stock in Beano and gobble it down.
Thanks Coast Runner for posting this for my Request..
I usually try to blame somebody else especially when I can smell my own farts. Or if I have to let lose, I wait until somebody else is nearby so I can blame him. It's worked a few times.
Farting in public is normal. Trust me i am a doctor. just kidding im not. just kidding my dad is a doctor. just kidding he is not a doctor judt kidding he is just kidding he makes happy people cry just kidding he has to go to a phyciatrist for that just kidding he doesnt just kidding he does just kidding he once married a phycyatrist just kidding just kidding it didnt work out just kidding it did thats why i live in paradise valley with all these rich people just kidding all of that was a lie just kis\dding it wasnt just kidding it was just kidding just kidding just kiddng all of this is so true just kidding its not i lied! oo
Farting is a great stress relief. When one builds up and is ready to part into the ether, just imagine it as some trouble or stress. Once released visulise the trouble as gone. Or, if you disagree with the boss, view your next loud fart as your opinion and tell anyone listening that you meant it.
I just had a true moment about this subject. I was in a meeting and the meeting was getting heated. It look like a fight was going to happened; however, with the raise voices in the room it looked like I could release one without getting caught. Unfortunately it was a little to stinky. I had been drinking coffee all day. After a few moments the room cleared and every body forgot what they were yelling about and talked how stinky the room was.
I am a gentle and shy guy who doesn't want embrassment to me and others.fart,i will move out,if i want to fart i move out.when ask why do move out,i will say because i will get sick inhaling the smell.most farts are normal,but farting in public is indecency and unhealthy
I am a gentle and shy guy who doesn't want embrassment to me and others.fart,i will move out,if i want to fart i move out.when ask why do move out,i will say because i will get sick inhaling the smell.most farts are normal,but farting in public is indecency and unhealthy
I love to let some smelly soundless farts out in the Finnish Parliament my opinion only counts after that ;-)
Farting is the most natural thing!! if you didn't fart you would be dead!! the question is how much did you enjoy it?
I think that it is not discusting at all especially when people say it is for girls we are human we have to do it no matter how embarassing it may be:(
compu-smart 3 years ago
lmao! very funny! Better out than in! and as always, like everything, there's a time and a place! we all have different times and places we like to do things!!
I normally do a loud cough to cover!! lol